The other night I got to go to a big telescope with my favorite person and look at the moon really really up close. You feel awesome yet insignificant when you're looking at a canyon the size of the city you're standing in* on a ball of rock that's about 30 babillion miles away from you. It was incredible how much detail you could make out on the surface! If you squinted really hard you could almost make out Oprah's Secret Moon Castle**.
Also, Saturn looks like a sticker of Saturn.
We're writing the Whitest Kids' third season right now, and I'm pretty excited! We're preparing tons of fun stuff, but unfortunately it looks like I will once again fail my grandmother in making a show that's okay for her to watch.
*Los Angeles, for those of you pushing stick pins into your patented "Timmy's Travels" map.
**I bet you didn't even know about that, did you?
***There is no need for this third footnote. It is a dirty and unwanted orphan.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Things and Stuff
New Orleans was the bomb-diggity! Lotsa funny times, drankin and eating crawdads! Thumbs up!
Watching my head get blown off on TV was awesome. Check that off the list!
I’m pretty sure the guy that delivered my food just now knew that I was pantsless until about thirty seconds before opening the door.
Here’s my new favorite band:
In case that video raises any questions, I do in fact like girls, by the way.
Watching my head get blown off on TV was awesome. Check that off the list!
I’m pretty sure the guy that delivered my food just now knew that I was pantsless until about thirty seconds before opening the door.
Here’s my new favorite band:
In case that video raises any questions, I do in fact like girls, by the way.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
My ear hurts
I have an earache. I thought only babies get that! Maybe I’m a giant baby. That would certainly explain all this diaper rash.
Some times I actually do my hair. That means I just run my hand through it with PhotoBooth open.
Lately I’ve bought a few shirts that DO NOT have pictures of animals on them. A distrubing trend to say the least.
My cat licks my cable box.
I am not very good at Scrabble but am very very good at Uno.
That movie Doomsday is crazy. I loved it, but not everyone will. Just sayin’.
That song "Here Comes the Hotstepper" just started playing on my iTunes. Time to go!
Some times I actually do my hair. That means I just run my hand through it with PhotoBooth open.
Lately I’ve bought a few shirts that DO NOT have pictures of animals on them. A distrubing trend to say the least.
My cat licks my cable box.
I am not very good at Scrabble but am very very good at Uno.
That movie Doomsday is crazy. I loved it, but not everyone will. Just sayin’.
That song "Here Comes the Hotstepper" just started playing on my iTunes. Time to go!
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Did you guys feel that?
We just jumped forward an hour.
The future so far is really awesome (I'm eating Doritos).
The future so far is really awesome (I'm eating Doritos).
A review of "10,000 B.C."
Y'know how with some movies the best way to enjoy them is to check your brain at the door?
Well, in order to enjoy 10,000 B.C. you need to check your brain at the door, blow pot in its face, stomp it into pieces and then shoot it with a shotgun.
That is the end of my review. Thank you for your time.
Well, in order to enjoy 10,000 B.C. you need to check your brain at the door, blow pot in its face, stomp it into pieces and then shoot it with a shotgun.
That is the end of my review. Thank you for your time.
Friday, March 07, 2008
Who What Huh?
Lately, everyone I know has been doing one of two things: getting really sick or appearing on "The Tyra Banks Show." Adam Newman did both!
One of the cooler things I got for swag from the Independent Spirit Awards arrived yesterday: a year-long movie pass! I can get into any AMC theater for free til the end of the year! Awesome! Too bad when I went to go try it out there was nothing but CRAP. Oh well. Maybe I'll go check out that caveman movie that came out today; it looks really historically accurate and informative.
I know cats like to play with their prey, but Spaceship really tortured this mouse the other day before she dealt it the death blow. It was pretty crazy. I wouldn't have been surprised to see her pull out a little tiny rack or iron maiden. Wouldn't that be adorable?
"Lost" is getting really bizarre and awesome. I'm not even sure how they write it anymore. Maybe they don't write it. Maybe it's all improv now. Wouldn't that beadorable awesome?
One of the cooler things I got for swag from the Independent Spirit Awards arrived yesterday: a year-long movie pass! I can get into any AMC theater for free til the end of the year! Awesome! Too bad when I went to go try it out there was nothing but CRAP. Oh well. Maybe I'll go check out that caveman movie that came out today; it looks really historically accurate and informative.
I know cats like to play with their prey, but Spaceship really tortured this mouse the other day before she dealt it the death blow. It was pretty crazy. I wouldn't have been surprised to see her pull out a little tiny rack or iron maiden. Wouldn't that be adorable?
"Lost" is getting really bizarre and awesome. I'm not even sure how they write it anymore. Maybe they don't write it. Maybe it's all improv now. Wouldn't that be
Friday, January 25, 2008
Since I've been back...
Man, I've been pretty busy since I got back to the cit-ay! Wednesday we had a GREAT KoH show and I ad-libbed a Britney Spears joke that I'm pretty excited about. I don't ever do material about stupid stuff like that but I think the quality of the joke and the fact that it's also a dick joke outweighs the fact that it's about Britney Spears and that we really shouldn't be paying any more attention to her. Also I discovered that spending two weeks in California and having to drive every night greatly lowered my alcohol tolerance. I'm glad to be back where I can drink whatever I want and poorly paid subway operators and taxi drivers have to take me home.
Also on Wednesday we did a photo shoot for a magazine where I got to wear a Hannibal Lecter mask.
Yesterday I watched a bunch of Monty Python (which I'm also doing today). I used to feel like watching them was like going to school but now that I feel the Whitest Kids have kind of established our own style, I can just watch other sketch comedy and enjoy it rather than study it. I still wish we had British accents though.
I also finally figured out the opening scene for an action movie I've been "writing" for like three years now. Now that I can't do anything with it (the strike) I might as well actually work on it, right? I'm backwards. And no, I won't tell you what it's about but I will say that if made it will include a scene of me lifting weights, and I think we all wanna see that special effects extravaganza, right?
Okay.
Also on Wednesday we did a photo shoot for a magazine where I got to wear a Hannibal Lecter mask.
Yesterday I watched a bunch of Monty Python (which I'm also doing today). I used to feel like watching them was like going to school but now that I feel the Whitest Kids have kind of established our own style, I can just watch other sketch comedy and enjoy it rather than study it. I still wish we had British accents though.
I also finally figured out the opening scene for an action movie I've been "writing" for like three years now. Now that I can't do anything with it (the strike) I might as well actually work on it, right? I'm backwards. And no, I won't tell you what it's about but I will say that if made it will include a scene of me lifting weights, and I think we all wanna see that special effects extravaganza, right?
Okay.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
WHY AM I UP?
I have to audition for a commercial in, like, seven hours. It's for a whipped cream, so at least I'm very familiar (too familiar?) with my subject.
When I'm on my deathbed and thinking back on my life and everything that I have accomplished, I'll probably be pretty upset about how many times I've clapped and didn't really mean it.
The next stage of human evolution is the Asshole. There's already TONS of prototypes.
Earlier tonight I was forced into a "Support The Troops" round of applause by some dude that's being shipped off to Afghanistan next week. It sucks that you have to go somewhere and have mean people shoot at you and everything, but don't make me applaud for you just because you SIGNED UP FOR SOMETHING THAT IS DANGEROUS. That's why I won't make people cheer for me once I finally join The International Federation Of Competitive Eaters.
Once you break it down to the basics, there's really only two life paths that a person can follow: The Happy Retard or The Heartbroken Genius.
I really only typed all this shit down so that I can remember it for my stand-up set on Wednesday. I hope that doesn't lessen your experience.
Brooklyn is Better.
Good night!
When I'm on my deathbed and thinking back on my life and everything that I have accomplished, I'll probably be pretty upset about how many times I've clapped and didn't really mean it.
The next stage of human evolution is the Asshole. There's already TONS of prototypes.
Earlier tonight I was forced into a "Support The Troops" round of applause by some dude that's being shipped off to Afghanistan next week. It sucks that you have to go somewhere and have mean people shoot at you and everything, but don't make me applaud for you just because you SIGNED UP FOR SOMETHING THAT IS DANGEROUS. That's why I won't make people cheer for me once I finally join The International Federation Of Competitive Eaters.
Once you break it down to the basics, there's really only two life paths that a person can follow: The Happy Retard or The Heartbroken Genius.
I really only typed all this shit down so that I can remember it for my stand-up set on Wednesday. I hope that doesn't lessen your experience.
Brooklyn is Better.
Good night!
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Creek and the Cave Comedy Combo!
Hey dudes! There's lots of comedy happening at the Creek and The Cave! it's this awesome bar in Queens! Tonight, Saturday, and Next Wednesday are some sick-ass shows and they're all FREE! Come on down!
Tonight The Jerk Practice kicks off '08 with some funny sketches and funny guests, including me! That starts at 8!
Then Saturday...
50 FIRST JOKES is happening Saturday, January 5th!!! We are kicking off a new year of NYC Comedy by having FIFTY + Comedians tell their first joke of 2008. This is gonna be huge!!! We're gonna party at The Creek and The Cave (coolest bar ever) all night long…It's gonna be MAKEOUT CENTRAL!!! Not to be missed…
Presented to you by John F. O'Donnell, Claudia Cogan and Jiwon Lee
Starring: JESSE POPP, SAM BROWN, WILL FRANKEN, GIULIA ROZZI, BRANDY & SARA, HEATHER FINK, ERIK BERGSTROM, BRENT SULLIVAN, SEAN O'CONNOR, VICTOR VARNADO, BENARI POULTEN, SETH HERZOG, ADAM NEWMAN , CHESLEE CALLOWAY, JON FRIEDMAN, BRYCE RICHARDSON, KUMAIL NANJIANI, SEAN PATTON, ELIZA FARIA-SANTOS, JAMIE LEE, CHARLES STAR , LANG FISHER, ROGER HAILES,VINCE AVERILL, JORDAN CARLOS, ERIC ANDRE , MATT RUBY, MARGOT LEITMAN, DAN NEWBOWER, NICK MARITATO, KATINA CORRAO, CRAIG BALDO, MATT MCCARTHY, LIVIA SCOTT, CAROLYN CASTIGLIA, GLENNIS MCMURRAY, AUBREY TENNANT, OREN BRIMER, JAY BOIS, CASSIDY HENNEHAN, BECKY CILETTI, JACKIE MONAHAN, SARA BENINCASA, ANDREW WRIGHT, TOM MCCAFFREY, RACHAEL PARENTA, BRAD STEUERNAGEL, DAN CURRY, TIMMY WILLIAMS, THE JERK PRACTICE, JOHN KNEFEL, JOSH FILIPOWSKI, LISA KAPLAN, RG DANIELS, GREG JOHNSON, GABE AND JENNY, CLAUDIA COGAN, JOHN F. O'DONNELL, and JIWON LEE
Then next Wednesday the 9th is the first KINGDOM OF HEAVEN of 2008! I won't be there but John Mulaney will! You've seen him on Conan O'Brien and various other televised programs, and he has 20 minutes of non-stop amazingness prepared for you!
And this all goes down at:
The Creek and The Cave
10-93 Jackson Ave.
Long Island City, NY 11101
www.thecreekandthecave.com
718-706-8783
By Subway
7 to Vernon/Jackson (one stop from Grand Central). Exit onto Jackson Ave. Walk one block north to 49th Ave.
E or V to 23 St/Ely Ave. Exit onto 44th to Jackson Ave. Walk five blocks south on Jackson to 49th Ave. Please note that the V train does not run on weekends.
G to 21 St/Van Alst. Exit onto Jackson Ave. Walk 3 blocks south (away from Citibank building) to 49th Ave.
By Bus
Q67 to Jackson and 46th ave.
B61 to 49th Ave.
Tonight The Jerk Practice kicks off '08 with some funny sketches and funny guests, including me! That starts at 8!
Then Saturday...
50 FIRST JOKES is happening Saturday, January 5th!!! We are kicking off a new year of NYC Comedy by having FIFTY + Comedians tell their first joke of 2008. This is gonna be huge!!! We're gonna party at The Creek and The Cave (coolest bar ever) all night long…It's gonna be MAKEOUT CENTRAL!!! Not to be missed…
Presented to you by John F. O'Donnell, Claudia Cogan and Jiwon Lee
Starring: JESSE POPP, SAM BROWN, WILL FRANKEN, GIULIA ROZZI, BRANDY & SARA, HEATHER FINK, ERIK BERGSTROM, BRENT SULLIVAN, SEAN O'CONNOR, VICTOR VARNADO, BENARI POULTEN, SETH HERZOG, ADAM NEWMAN , CHESLEE CALLOWAY, JON FRIEDMAN, BRYCE RICHARDSON, KUMAIL NANJIANI, SEAN PATTON, ELIZA FARIA-SANTOS, JAMIE LEE, CHARLES STAR , LANG FISHER, ROGER HAILES,VINCE AVERILL, JORDAN CARLOS, ERIC ANDRE , MATT RUBY, MARGOT LEITMAN, DAN NEWBOWER, NICK MARITATO, KATINA CORRAO, CRAIG BALDO, MATT MCCARTHY, LIVIA SCOTT, CAROLYN CASTIGLIA, GLENNIS MCMURRAY, AUBREY TENNANT, OREN BRIMER, JAY BOIS, CASSIDY HENNEHAN, BECKY CILETTI, JACKIE MONAHAN, SARA BENINCASA, ANDREW WRIGHT, TOM MCCAFFREY, RACHAEL PARENTA, BRAD STEUERNAGEL, DAN CURRY, TIMMY WILLIAMS, THE JERK PRACTICE, JOHN KNEFEL, JOSH FILIPOWSKI, LISA KAPLAN, RG DANIELS, GREG JOHNSON, GABE AND JENNY, CLAUDIA COGAN, JOHN F. O'DONNELL, and JIWON LEE
Then next Wednesday the 9th is the first KINGDOM OF HEAVEN of 2008! I won't be there but John Mulaney will! You've seen him on Conan O'Brien and various other televised programs, and he has 20 minutes of non-stop amazingness prepared for you!
And this all goes down at:
The Creek and The Cave
10-93 Jackson Ave.
Long Island City, NY 11101
www.thecreekandthecave.com
718-706-8783
By Subway
7 to Vernon/Jackson (one stop from Grand Central). Exit onto Jackson Ave. Walk one block north to 49th Ave.
E or V to 23 St/Ely Ave. Exit onto 44th to Jackson Ave. Walk five blocks south on Jackson to 49th Ave. Please note that the V train does not run on weekends.
G to 21 St/Van Alst. Exit onto Jackson Ave. Walk 3 blocks south (away from Citibank building) to 49th Ave.
By Bus
Q67 to Jackson and 46th ave.
B61 to 49th Ave.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
