The Whitest Kids U' Know Vs. Fire

Well, the WKUK are convening in Los Angeles tomorrow to take some pictures for Season 2. Apparently it's a really great time of the year to go there since it's, y'know, ON FIRE.

Zach and Trevor have been out there for a while so it'll be good to see them again. I just hope we're not just stopping, dropping and rolling the whole time.

I saw "Blade Runner: The Final Cut" in the theater the other day. If you live anywhere near where this is playing, GO SEE IT. It's awesome on the big screen.

I also saw "30 Days of Night." If you live anywhere near where this is playing, don't go see it. The vampires are cool and there's some good gore, but it's really boring. Go read the comic instead.

I also bought Ween's new album "La Cucaracha." If you live anywhere near where this is being sold (i.e. the internet), go buy it. It's awesome. The song "With My Own Bare Hands" contains one of my favorite lyrics of all time: "She's gonna be my cock professor, studyin' my dick!"

It's really good.

Three Quick Things

1. I am abandoning the Facial Hair Project two and a half weeks in (we have a photo shoot this week and nobody wants to take pictures of "Kinda Hairy Timmy").

2. "Quantum Leap" is actually a really great show.

3. Why aren't there any hot girls that are serial killers? Wouldn't that be awesome?

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN TOMORROW NIGHT! HOO BOY!

Come to the next KINGDOM OF HEAVEN w/ Timmy and John!!!!

If you haven't been to this super fun show/evening yet, definitely come next Wednesday at 8pm because...our COMEDIAN OF MERIT is...



GODS POTTERY

plus you get TEN Comedians of all levels opening for them!

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN
Wednesday 10/17 8pm, 7:30pm New Lottery sign up (10 spots!)
Free
@ The Creek and The Cave
10-93 Jackson Ave.
Long Island City, NY 11101
The Creek and The Cave

Take the 7 Train to Vernon/Jackson

Take the G Train to 21st

Take the E/V to Court House Rd

Love,

John and Timmy

Six Flags!

Today I went to Six Flags Great Adventure in New Jersey! I'd never been before! It was AWWWEEEESSSSOOOMMMEEEE!!!!!!!!!! We rode seven roller coasters and they were all fun! We also went to the most confusedly-run taco restaurant in America! It's a surprise we were even fed!

Look at some pictures under my MySpace!

I also registered a few firsts on this trip:

1. First time on a steel coaster.
2. First time on one of those rides that dangle your feet.
3. First time not finding Wonder Woman attractive.

They have this amazing new coaster with a lame name: Kingda Ka. You get in and it goes from 0 to 124 miles an hour in about one second and then shoots you up a 44-story track and then immediately drops you straight back down. AMAZING. I thought I was gonna die. My first and favorite ride of the day, although honorable mention also can go to El Toro, Nitro, and the Batman Ride. Actually, all of the roller coasters were really awesome, but this Kingda Ka was the scariest and most shocking and therefore better. But anyways, me, Darren Bill Tom Melissa and Rachel had the best day ever! I'm getting a season pass next year. And yes, I will continue to wear the little blue shorts whenever I go to Jersey until somebody steals and then burns them.

A Dangerous Combination

Mixing things together is an American tradition. Improving something you like by adding something else you like to it is a time-honored practice that has given us some amazing advancements such as pants that turn into shorts, Wal-Marts that also have restaurants, and all those crazy flavors at Coldstone Creamery where they put slices of pie or whole candy bars in your ice cream.

Well, last night I decided to try a combination myself. After getting home form the bar, I decided to combine a large amount of beer, a laptop, and a credit card, a combination which led to me now owning this:



I don't know if it's better that I remembered right away, or if it would have been an awesome surprise in my mailbox.

Whatever.

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN TONIGHT!

The KINGDOM OF HEAVEN is this Wednesday, and it's gonna be BIG TIME FUN!

Jesus F. Christ (John F. O'Donnell) and Altar Boy Timmy (Timmy Williams) will be performing a new sketch and doing their sweet Stand Up!



Plus, this edition's COMEDIAN OF MERIT is truly exciting! We present to you: The One and Only DAVE HILL!!!!!!!!!

Check out all the cool shit he's done: "The King Of Miami" on MOJO, Adult Swim, Current TV, "Human Giant" on MTV, Sundance Channel, VH1, "Smoking Gun TV" on Court TV, Spike TV, "Random Acts of Duff" on the Learning Channel, E!, "Friday Night Standup" on Comedy Central, Cinemax


www.davehillonline.com

plus, as always, you get TEN COMEDIANS of all levels bringing you HOT LIVE COMEDY ACTION!!!!!!!



KINGDOM OF HEAVEN
Wednesday 10/3 8pm, 7:30pm New Lottery sign up (10 spots!)
Free
@ The Creek and The Cave
10-93 Jackson Ave.
Long Island City, NY 11101
www.thecreekandthecave.com

Take the 7 Train to Vernon/Jackson

Take the G Train to 21st

Take the E/V to Court Square

Love,

Timmy and John

The sandwich that will probably infuriate vegetarians worldwide

Today my buddy Lord Easy told me he was in the middle of The Bronx the other day and saw a restaurant nailing up a sign that read "Home of the Murder Burger."

"Eating a Murder Burger" is now the #1 thing on my list of things to look forward to.

Right now I...

...am deleting MC Hammer's Song from "The Addams Family" from my Shuffle.

...think I might like Lagwagon again.

...think I might like jalapeno poppers even more than Lagwagon.

...can see the timestream currents moving around my bedroom.

...am wondering why Spaceship has been pretty much the same size since birth.

...am realizing how good the comic "Madman" is (better than most regular books, kids).

...have decided that I should stop writing this now.

Last night’s cab ride

I don't really know how to explain the cab ride my brother Andy and I took home last night. It was one of the weirdest yet most heartwarming things that has ever happened to me in NYC.

The driver, one Khan Haider, started speaking in his creepy and raspy voice as soon as we entered the vehicle. He then asked how long we've known eachother and then explained that in India (his home country) people aren't as negative about meeting random strangers as they are here in America.

Then he started talking about friendship and family and love and stuff as he made us wrap eachother in silk scarves.

Really.

I'm still trying to figure it all out. All I know for sure is that I gave him an eight-dollar tip.