This is where Timmy Williams will talk about all sorts of things. Hopefully it's funny.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006


Just to bring everyone up to speed, do you all know about William Hootkins?

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You probably recognize this guy, but you may not be aware of his significance (I was not until very recently). This guy was in "Star Wars," "Raiders of the Lost Ark," AND "Batman!" When I found this out, I almost* pooped barf! This dude was in what are probably the three most formative movies of my childhood! Maybe that's not actually a good thing, considering I'm kind of a weirdo now, but the guy still deserves some respect. He's dead, so he probably won't hear you when you give it to him, but you should anyways. And as I was fact-checking to make sure he was actually dead and that I wouldn't be labeled a liar, guess what else I just now found out? He was going to be in "Jurassic Park" too, but couldn't do it! That's insane! Had he done that, he would have been more important than God in the minds of millions! Since he missed out on "JP" though, he's only bigger than Jesus, which means he still has John Lennon and God to top. I'm also working on an impression of him, based primarily on his work from "Batman." Ask me next time you see me.

*I actually did, but I felt too embarrassed to write about it here**.

**Shit. I just did.

I did it!

I FINALLY bought an air conditioner. I really don't have that much to say on the subject except "take that, ozone layer!"

Also, I spent Monday in a tank top in the sun and now have the worst sunburn I have ever gotten on my shoulders. Everything else is fine, but my shoulders look like the surface of Mars and feel like someone is contantly burning them with a cigarette lighter. And then last week, I spent a few hours sitting between two topless women. That did not cause any burning sensations, but had it gone further that just sitting between them, it probably would have.

That was a joke about STDs, Mom. I hope you enjoyed it.