I'm going to buy some sleeping pills today and end it all.
Oh! No! Not like that! I meant my insomnia! I want to end my insomnia!
You see, lately I haven't been sleeping well at all and I don't know why. It takes me forever to fall asleep and I wake up really early. I was thinking that maybe quitting smoking and not drinking very much would help, but no dice. Maybe if I drank a LOT and then took some sleeping pills...no, wait. I don't want to sleep that well.
Maybe I should rig up one of those Fred Flintstone-style bowling ball alarm clock things, but just use it to put me to sleep rather than wake me up.
Yeah. I think I'll do that.