Hey kids, now that I'm done shooting Season 2 I get to go do standup again!
Tomorrow (Sunday) I'm performing at the Stillborn in America Tour kick-off show! it's a comedy tour featuring my pals Sean O'Connor, Jonah Ray, Andrew Wright and Nick Maritato, and Sam and I (among others) are going to help send them off! It's at 10pm at Pianos, and costs eight bucks, but show up at 8 for the free Scum and Villainy show, and it'll be like getting two four-dollar shows! Good deal, right?
Stillborn in America
Sunday, September 30
10pm
8$
Pianos
158 Ludlow
Then on Wednesday it's Kingdom of Heaven time! The Comedian of Merit is Dave Hill!
Then on Thursday I'm doing the Tommy Danger show hosted by Sean Patton (winner of Best New Timmy Friend of 2007)! That's at Kabin! Address up soon, okay!
Come out to these shows children!
Saturday, September 29, 2007
The State of My Struggle to Live in the 21st Century as of September 29, 2007
I have realllllly bad luck with technology. Here's a brief recap:
In late July of 2006, I bought an iPod, which was stolen from me on the subway about a month later. I repurchased an iPod, along with a laptop, about a week before going on tour last September. I left the laptop at the venue in Rochester, NY with about one week left on tour. Around Thanksgiving last year, I left my messenger bag sitting at a table in the Manhattan Mall (gross). When I remembered I had left it, everything was there but my iPod. Thieves apparently do not care about Daredevil comics.
Then I moved into a new apartment and bought my friend Matt's old PC. I also bought an iPod Shuffle at around the same time. This summer, the PC decided that it didn't need the internet anymore and stopped getting online. It even went so far as to delete any new browsers that I attempted to install. Weird.
So then I bought this new Apple MacBook, and I really love it! I've had it for almost two months now!
Yesterday I spilled a bunch of water on it. Now it sometimes reboots for no reason.
Also, any cell phone I buy quits working about 11 months after purchase (this one's due any day), my Wii won't turn on, my Xbox 360 acts up some times, and I'm pretty sure my that my cat is mentally retarded. I should just go off the grid and live in a cave.
The iPod Shuffle, by the way, works great and remains in my ownership TEN MONTHS after I bought it! Amazing! I just wish it could get on MySpace.
In late July of 2006, I bought an iPod, which was stolen from me on the subway about a month later. I repurchased an iPod, along with a laptop, about a week before going on tour last September. I left the laptop at the venue in Rochester, NY with about one week left on tour. Around Thanksgiving last year, I left my messenger bag sitting at a table in the Manhattan Mall (gross). When I remembered I had left it, everything was there but my iPod. Thieves apparently do not care about Daredevil comics.
Then I moved into a new apartment and bought my friend Matt's old PC. I also bought an iPod Shuffle at around the same time. This summer, the PC decided that it didn't need the internet anymore and stopped getting online. It even went so far as to delete any new browsers that I attempted to install. Weird.
So then I bought this new Apple MacBook, and I really love it! I've had it for almost two months now!
Yesterday I spilled a bunch of water on it. Now it sometimes reboots for no reason.
Also, any cell phone I buy quits working about 11 months after purchase (this one's due any day), my Wii won't turn on, my Xbox 360 acts up some times, and I'm pretty sure my that my cat is mentally retarded. I should just go off the grid and live in a cave.
The iPod Shuffle, by the way, works great and remains in my ownership TEN MONTHS after I bought it! Amazing! I just wish it could get on MySpace.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Season 2 - Phew!
Well, Season 2 is more or less shot. We shot more sketches than Season 1 in a shorter amount of time than Season 1 and it felt waaaaay longer than Season 1. I don't know how that all works out mathematically. I suck at math, that's why I do poop jokes and wear bras for a living.
I can't wait for this to get on TV though. We at Whitest Kids Business Company International Conglomerate are all very excited. I think our consensus is that it's funnier than Season 1, so let's see what everyone else thinks. February seems very far away but I'm sure it'll come up before I know it.
Anyways, I'll get back to doing standup, playing video games, and writing about my cat now.
Timmy
Why did I write my name there? Everyone reading this knows who wrote it, and my name's like, RIGHT THERE on the left.
But why should I care about what I think about writing my name? I had a long day and a long glass of Scotch. I can write my name wherever I want to! FUCK Timmy.
Right?
I can't wait for this to get on TV though. We at Whitest Kids Business Company International Conglomerate are all very excited. I think our consensus is that it's funnier than Season 1, so let's see what everyone else thinks. February seems very far away but I'm sure it'll come up before I know it.
Anyways, I'll get back to doing standup, playing video games, and writing about my cat now.
Timmy
Why did I write my name there? Everyone reading this knows who wrote it, and my name's like, RIGHT THERE on the left.
But why should I care about what I think about writing my name? I had a long day and a long glass of Scotch. I can write my name wherever I want to! FUCK Timmy.
Right?
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Weekend of Merriment!
When I'm on my deathbed, one thing is for certain: I will die knowing that I did the weekend of September 21, 2007 totally balls-out awesome.
I started on Friday meeting my friend Kevin, whom I haven't seen in eons, down in Little Italy for the Feast of San Genarro. I don't know what exactly the Feast is for, but based on what I saw it's all about eating food that is really really really really bad for you. Like fried Oreos.
Then I got really drunk on a roof, which I haven't done in a long time. I also was hitting on a girl and decided to finally use the "I have a TV show" line, only to find out that 1. she knew that and 2. so did her boyfriend, who was some sort of muscleman.
Yesterday I saw that Jesse James movie. I think it's called "Brad Pitt Gets Pwned" or something. It was great though and I recommend it. The acting and cinematography are amazing and help you forget that the score is AWFUL.
Then after that we went to a pool party! There's some hotel in Midtown that lets you just come swim, and they have a swim-up bar! It was AMAZING. They had this annoying lifeguard that wouldn't let us have chicken fights, and the drinks are WAY too expensive, but besides that it was really awesome. I don't know why I never thought of going to this place before. You'd think I'd have put together the "wet half-naked women + booze = great" thing before, but hey, I'm a little slow on the uptake. Halfway through the evening, our party of comedians (pasty, neurotic and out of shape nerds that didn't know how to handle seeing their female friends' wet bodies) was taken over by what appeared to be a party consisting of 50 Cent music video extras (gorgeous black women and dudes with giant muscles). Not to be a dirty old man, but one of the women had a butt that could probably cure cancer, poverty, pollution, and get "Arrested Development" back on the air. Everyone, guys and girls, were staring at this amazing gluteal phenomenon, and it went past lechery to where we were really just trying to figure out how it was possible. We were staring at her ass in the name of science. Anyways, they knew how to party, and the lifeguard let them do chicken fights! Hot girls have the best lives. And boobs.
Famous mime Marcel Marceau died today. I want to pay tribute to him somehow but I think the traditional "moment of silence" will just feel petty and insignificant in this case.
I started on Friday meeting my friend Kevin, whom I haven't seen in eons, down in Little Italy for the Feast of San Genarro. I don't know what exactly the Feast is for, but based on what I saw it's all about eating food that is really really really really bad for you. Like fried Oreos.
Then I got really drunk on a roof, which I haven't done in a long time. I also was hitting on a girl and decided to finally use the "I have a TV show" line, only to find out that 1. she knew that and 2. so did her boyfriend, who was some sort of muscleman.
Yesterday I saw that Jesse James movie. I think it's called "Brad Pitt Gets Pwned" or something. It was great though and I recommend it. The acting and cinematography are amazing and help you forget that the score is AWFUL.
Then after that we went to a pool party! There's some hotel in Midtown that lets you just come swim, and they have a swim-up bar! It was AMAZING. They had this annoying lifeguard that wouldn't let us have chicken fights, and the drinks are WAY too expensive, but besides that it was really awesome. I don't know why I never thought of going to this place before. You'd think I'd have put together the "wet half-naked women + booze = great" thing before, but hey, I'm a little slow on the uptake. Halfway through the evening, our party of comedians (pasty, neurotic and out of shape nerds that didn't know how to handle seeing their female friends' wet bodies) was taken over by what appeared to be a party consisting of 50 Cent music video extras (gorgeous black women and dudes with giant muscles). Not to be a dirty old man, but one of the women had a butt that could probably cure cancer, poverty, pollution, and get "Arrested Development" back on the air. Everyone, guys and girls, were staring at this amazing gluteal phenomenon, and it went past lechery to where we were really just trying to figure out how it was possible. We were staring at her ass in the name of science. Anyways, they knew how to party, and the lifeguard let them do chicken fights! Hot girls have the best lives. And boobs.
Famous mime Marcel Marceau died today. I want to pay tribute to him somehow but I think the traditional "moment of silence" will just feel petty and insignificant in this case.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Season 2 - Week 4
Today we shot a sketch that I've been waiting to shoot for months. It's brand new and is one of the craziest things we've ever done. I know I'm not supposed to spoil anything, but I can't help it. The sketch we shot today is about LSDIFNYAELVUBRYASEVHTBLSAEKUTHLNSVKH and involves NTALSKUHTRLASKJEHNALSKJEHR for 45 minutes BLVASKUERHBLASERHLSIYB4NV
Whoah. Sorry. My keyboard malfunctioned for a second. What was I talking about? Was it this?
Thanks for the video, Kate!
Whoah. Sorry. My keyboard malfunctioned for a second. What was I talking about? Was it this?
Thanks for the video, Kate!
Friday, September 07, 2007
Addendum To My Earlier Post
So early this morning, I posted the following statement about yesterday's shoot:
"Yesterday we were shooting outside in Brooklyn and some dude just wandered up to the Craft Services table and started eating bagels. One of the Production Assistants asked him who he was and I think he said he was "with props.""
Guess what? HE WAS WITH PROPS.
I'm an asshole.
"Yesterday we were shooting outside in Brooklyn and some dude just wandered up to the Craft Services table and started eating bagels. One of the Production Assistants asked him who he was and I think he said he was "with props.""
Guess what? HE WAS WITH PROPS.
I'm an asshole.
Season 2 - Week 3
Remember how in week 1 I was posting every day, then week 2 it was every other day, and now it's just one for the week? I guess that means the last two weeks of shooting will just be "kshrkjshlfjh" or something.
Anyways, shooting is still going well although the buzz of "we're shooting a TV show!" is fading and now it's a lot like a job. That's probably because we're waking up at five A.M. every day. We're still having a lot of fun though and getting some really awesome stuff. This week we've shot some older live stuff and it's fun to see some of it again since they're all things we haven't performed in a while, and I think they'll work better on the tube anyways.
Yesterday we were shooting outside in Brooklyn and some dude just wandered up to the Craft Services table and started eating bagels. One of the Production Assistants asked him who he was and I think he said he was "with props." This isn't like a "Star Wars" movie or something with hundreds and hundreds of people involved, there's only about 20 or 30 of us and I recognize everyone, but kudos to him for trying to sneak in. I don't really eat those bagels anyway, so have at it! If I were him I totally would have said "I'm with props" too, it just sounds like it might be true.
Anyways, shooting is still going well although the buzz of "we're shooting a TV show!" is fading and now it's a lot like a job. That's probably because we're waking up at five A.M. every day. We're still having a lot of fun though and getting some really awesome stuff. This week we've shot some older live stuff and it's fun to see some of it again since they're all things we haven't performed in a while, and I think they'll work better on the tube anyways.
Yesterday we were shooting outside in Brooklyn and some dude just wandered up to the Craft Services table and started eating bagels. One of the Production Assistants asked him who he was and I think he said he was "with props." This isn't like a "Star Wars" movie or something with hundreds and hundreds of people involved, there's only about 20 or 30 of us and I recognize everyone, but kudos to him for trying to sneak in. I don't really eat those bagels anyway, so have at it! If I were him I totally would have said "I'm with props" too, it just sounds like it might be true.
Monday, September 03, 2007
Bits and Pieces
First off, I got mentioned in an article about my new favorite Greenpoint spot, Black Rabbit! I'm not actually mentioned in it by name but just know that the "geeks" are my friend Casey and I.
Man, I went CRAZY while on break from shooting. Uff da. I got Joker shoes, ate corn on the cob, recorded commentary for Season 1, found out some girl I know is distantly related to me, and did a lot of beer. I know that actually doesn't sound too crazy but I'm leaving a lot of stuff out because my mom reads this. We start shooting again tomorrow, which is probably good because I was totally headed for something bad like prison or homelessness or accidental space travel.
A sign posted on the door of the Chinese restaurant I went to today said "We now have The Salad."
I've been living in a Polish neighborhood for a while now and on Saturday I finally took advantage of my cultural surroundings by purchasing a whole bunch of kielbasa from a butcher shop and taking it to a barbecue. It was a real-life Sausage Party, even though there were actually tons of ladies there that didn't mind talking to gross weirdo comedians. Kielbasa is delicious, by the way.
Man, I went CRAZY while on break from shooting. Uff da. I got Joker shoes, ate corn on the cob, recorded commentary for Season 1, found out some girl I know is distantly related to me, and did a lot of beer. I know that actually doesn't sound too crazy but I'm leaving a lot of stuff out because my mom reads this. We start shooting again tomorrow, which is probably good because I was totally headed for something bad like prison or homelessness or accidental space travel.
A sign posted on the door of the Chinese restaurant I went to today said "We now have The Salad."
I've been living in a Polish neighborhood for a while now and on Saturday I finally took advantage of my cultural surroundings by purchasing a whole bunch of kielbasa from a butcher shop and taking it to a barbecue. It was a real-life Sausage Party, even though there were actually tons of ladies there that didn't mind talking to gross weirdo comedians. Kielbasa is delicious, by the way.
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