Today is Labour Day in Australia. Maybe they can spend their time off by taking the "u" out of all of the words in their language that have one for no reason (let's start with "favour" and "colour").
Also, I am thinking of setting up a webcam at work so that people can watch me stare blankly at my Page-a-Day Dilbert calendar and half-assedly answer my underlings' questions. It should be good.
And yes, I AM from South Dakota, and no, I DON'T hate women. I personally think that my state's outlawing of abortion, even for victims of incest, is part of a larger plot to take over the world with an army of inbred superhuman mutants and tough unwanted loners, and the bitter winters and ignorant intolerance there will only serve to make them more ruthless. I know it's a crazy theory, but it's no crazier than the one that women should have no control over their bodies and futures, even if they get raped.
Lastly, I fly out to Aspen, Colorado tomorrow for the HBO Comedy Festival. We're performing a couple of shows there, and it should be a blast. Goldie Hawn is getting a Lifetime Achievement Award at the festival, which means that I may finally have a chance to knock back some drinks with this man:
Wow. Jack Burton, Snake Plissken, AND Captain Ron. Bravo, sir.
I hope he likes Wild Turkey.
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