Blargh

I'm still kind of sick. My head feels crazy.

I saw "The Simpsons Movie" last night. It's pretty good. I don't like it when people sing along to something they saw in the trailer for the movie, that's weird. That's like a fish singing about hooks when it's in the frying pan. Or maybe like talking about how refreshing this Pepsi you're about to drink is before you actually know how refreshing it is. Or maybe my head hurts and this doesn't really make any sense.

We added some more boobs to Season 2 yesterday. I can't wait to start filming.

Even if you don't read comic books at all, go out and find "Tales Designed to Thrizzle." It's a humor comic, and if you like my blog or Whitest Kids or laughing in general, you'll like that.


I think I'm gonna take it easy this weekend and learn how to do this:

Greg Jackson Snare Solo 2003

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The Angel of Death is ADORABLE!

No scary scythe or skull face, no thrash metal music, just cuddles!

But seriously though, how fucking scary is this?

The Healing Power Of Magic And Robots

Well, I'm almost done with this horrible sinus buggery. I'm about to turn in for a good night's sleep and then I think I'll be well enough tomorrow to re-enter society, and by that I mean buying comics, writing funny little plays with my friends, and drinking Kamikazes.

The orange juice, DayQuil, and well wishes certainly helped, but I am attributing most of the healing to the last Harry Potter book and the movie "Terminator 2." The Harry Potter book was a great ending to a really good series, and "Terminator 2" had Arnold Schwarzenegger shooting shotguns, which I think could heal just about anything. They should show that movie in cancer wards; I bet they'd be surprised at the results. It's that awesome. They do need to hurry up and make "Robocop Vs. Terminator" though. I already even wrote the theme, it goes "Bum bum bum baa baaaa, bum bum bum duh-duh-duh-duh-duh dunnnn, duh-duh-duh-duh-duh dunnnn" and then the titles come up in front of a huge blue fireball.

I guess I'd have to sing it for you for it to really make sense...

Runners-up for Most Helpful Recuperatory Aid include Gummi Army Men, my new CD "80s Metal Gold," and crazy fever dreams. It was a real team effort, good job gang!

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN TOMORRROOOOWWWW!

Editor's Note: John wrote this, not Timmy. Timmy would NEVER call other comedians "dumb ass." Even though some of them are.

Hey Everybody,

KOH Comedy has been so rad lately. You need to come to the best comedy show, you barely know exists! John F. O'Donnell and Timmy Williams have been rocking their new characters: Jesus F. Christ and Alterboy Timmy. And the Comedians have been performing some of the most original, deeply funny stuff out there.

We are GEEKED TO THE MAX for this edition's COMEDIAN OF MERIT. It is the one and only, CLAUDIA COGAN. Her acerbic, cerebral, dry wit is comedy for the true comedy connoisseur.

Plus, as always, we put up 10 Comics off all levels. Some genius, some dumb ass, all TRYING THEIR BEST to entertain you!

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN
Wednesday 7/25 8pm, 7:30pm sign up
Free
@ The Creek and The Cave
10-93 Jackson Ave.
Long Island City, NY 11101
www.thecreekandthecave.com

Take the 7 Train to Vernon/Jackson

Take the G Train to 21st

Focus Hocus Pocus and Other Psychedelia

Trevor and I got into this 70s Dutch progressive pscyhedelic band Focus. They're the best. Listen to my profile song and think about opening a door between time and space and your consciousness while you listen to it. Or snacks. Either way will work. I think we're slowly becoming hippies. Trevor stopped wearing shoes, I have a stack of High Times in my bathroom, and now we're listening to trippy yodel-rock, which is totally outside of our normal likes (silly rap for him and silly metal for me).

Speaking of silly rap, karaoke finally got "This Is Why I'm Hot!" I'm going to sing it EVERY SINGLE WEEK until someone takes it out of the songbook.

I had a great dream last night. I was at this party with Jordan and Sam and we had a baby polar bear with us! It was adorable! Turns out we brought it to catch mice. I don't think polar bears have ever really seen mice, but this little guy was really excited about it! He wasn't very good though, so then we had to go get Old Faithful, Spaceship. She killed the shit outta those mice and then we had to leave.

Then I woke up and looked over and saw Spacehip licking her butthole. What a great first thing to see in the morning.

My cat's gross.

Pushing The Red Button

Steam conceals the bounty hunter that I KNOW is behind me fractured and turned upside down and being pursued inside of a can containing twenty-five children while I hold three images of Jesus and the blisters grow jellybeans bursting from every orifice while the dripping cools me but the grip gets looser and looser by the second maybe a clown wig will do the trick but the dragon will still figure it out and now we're all holding hands inside of the balloon as the sour taste erodes everything.

We're all just a bunch of flies trying to figure out who Josh Duhamel is without being too gay about it.

Shows!

Come see me!

TONIGHT:

COMIC BOOK CLUB
A Live Weekly Talk Show about Comic Books

Hosted by Justin Tyler, Pete LePage, and Alex Zalben

Tuesdays @ 8:00 PM

July 10:
Heidi MacDonald (PW Beat)
& Timmy Williams (Fuse TV's Whitest Kids U Know)

Tickets: $5
Online: ThePIT-NYC.com
Phone: 1-800-838-3006
Questions? 212-563-7488

The Peoples Improv Theater
154 West 29th Street, 2nd Floor
Between 6th and 7th Aves.

Check out our website:
http://www.popcultureshock.com/cbclub

Check us out on MySpace:
http://www.myspace.com/comicbookclub3

The show is sponsored in part by Midtown Comics
(www.midtowncomics.com)!

TOMORROW:
Kingdom of Heaven: Episode 10: The Reckoning.

COMEDY this Wednesday at 8pm. Of course the uber-fantastic Timmy and John are going to be there! (Also appearing will be Jesus F. Christ and Altar Boy Timmy)

Also, THE COMEDIAN OF MERIT is truly MERITORIUS. It's the one and only, REGGIE WATTS. He's won the very prestigious Andy Kaufman Award at The New York Comedy Festival, and he will blow your mind, SON...

plus,

TEN open spots, where Comedians of all levels perform the ART OF COMEDY!

Don't NOT come to this...

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN

Wednesday 7/11 8pm, 7:30pm sign up

Free

@ The Creek and The Cave

10-93 Jackson Ave.

Long Island City, NY 11101

www.thecreekandthecave.com

Two Things Real Quick

Tonight, Darren and I went to see "Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation." In 1982, a bunch of 12-year-olds were so jazzed by Indiana Jones' first movie that they reshot the whole thing themselves, shot for shot, with no budget! And it took seven years! And they have fire and stunts and costumes and everything! It's like an awesome love letter to an awesome movie, and the work and dedication that go into their remake is pretty much the most amazing and inspiring thing I have seen in a long time. You should definitely check this out if it plays anywhere near you (it's at the Anthology Film Archives here in NYC).

Also, on the Wikipedia entry for the Whitest Kids, this little tidbit can now be found in the history section: "Timmy recently announced that in December 2007 he will be receiving extensive plastic surgery on his belly and buttocks."

It's not true, but I'm going to leave it up there anyways.

Cape-Coddin' it

Well I'm finally going to celebrate a 4th of July on Cape Cod this year. I have heard many a legend about their parties, and now it's time for me to add to the story by jumping naked over a fire or crashing a boat or something.

The new Ween E.P. "Friends" is pretty crazy. They have a straight-up 90s Techno song.

When a baby is being carried in one of those knapsack things that hang off the neck does it think it's flying?

I really am excited about Transformers.

When I woke up this morning there was confetti all over the floor. At first I was really excited because I thought that Spaceship had thrown a cat party, but then I remembered that I had done it myself at like 5 A.M.

Well, now it's time to catch the Chinatown bus to Partyville! Yeah!

Whitest Kids Stand Up Show Tonight! Free!

Hey everybody! There's no Whitest Kids show tonight because some of us are out of town, but in its place will be "The Whitest Kids U' Know Are Out Of Town So Here's Timmy And Sam And Some Other People Doing Stand-Up Show!" Sam and Timmy will be hosting a showcase of our favorite comedian buddies! And it's still FREE! So come on down!

With Baron Vaughn, Matt McCarthy, Pete Holmes, John F. O'Donnell, Greg Johnson and Alex Castle
Music by Jordan Cooper
Pianos (158 Ludlow, corner of Ludlow and Stanton)
8pm
FREE