I've been assassinated

Well, I just woke up shivering and coughing and puking. It appears that I've caught that cold/fever/flu thing that's going around.

Now, I know that there's a lot of shit in the air around this time of year, and I am aware that my immune system is probably a little weak right now after all the partying I've been doing lately, but I think something else is going on here. Let me break it down for you:

1. The symptoms I'm displaying are very similar, if not identical, to those that Shandi and Aimee recently exihibited when they were sick.

2. I've seen both of them a couple of times in the past week, while they were sick, so I probably got it from one of them.

3. Both Shandi and Aimee have worked with VH1 recently (Aimee works there and Shandi shot something with them the other night).

4. VH1 is the sister channel of MTV.

5. MTV not only has a sketch comedy show of its own coming out soon but is also a ruthless adversary that will stop at nothing to crush other music channels. Channels like FUSE.

I think you all see where I'm going with this.

You may have won this battle, MTV, but you won't win the war. Someone will take my place.

Prepare for glory.