I finally saw the Steven Seagal classic "Hard to Kill" last night. Oh my God. It's pretty awesome. Seagal movies never have the best acting or storyline (although they weren't too atrocious in this one), but who cares about that, because there's always lots of good fighting and fake arm-breaks and stuff. It's pretty sweet. I did have one problem with it though.
Tight pants. Tight, tight pants on that man.
He wears a very tight and very white pair of jeans the bulk of the movie. They're like tighty whities in jean form. You can see the contours of his dick and balls. It's gross.
And then he lifts Kelly LeBrock out of her shoes by her butt cheeks.
This is what I'm talking about!
Or how about a Seagal impersonator?
"This Steven Seagal impersonator is excellent for corporate & private events, company picnics, trade shows, clubs, fundraisers, & advertising. In addition, you can provide your guests with photos taken with "Steven Seagal" as souvenirs. This accomplished impersonator not only looks like Steven Seagal, he has captured the performer's voice and mannerisms as well."
Let's hope his "mannerisms" don't include those bright white dick-pants.