There's really not that much stuff in there. Well, those headphones are kind of big I guess.
They're not heavy though.
And this is a lightweight umbrella. It says "lightweight" right on it.
I have two books in there (NERD) but they're both small paperbacks. They're small, but very deep and very hard to read (ASSHOLE).
Maybe that sweater in there is made out of some sort of revolutionary thin metal that just looks like sweater fabric, and that makes it heavy. Which would be weird, because I wear it all the time.
Maybe I'm stronger than I thought.
Seriously, why is it so heavy? Is there a secret compartment on it?
A secret compartment full of rocks?
I wish it was full of treasure.
That would be so neat!