1. My theory on why automatic sinks and hand-dryers are fascistic attempts to crush our freedom and will inevitably lead to a soulless dystopian military state.
2. My parent's dog's attempts to be friends with the neighbor's cat.
3. The inadequacies of South Dakotan karaoke (when you play regular music between karaoke, we can't sing as much dummy!).
5. How hungover I am.