On Red Lobster, which I visited for the first time tonight: You don't need to put butter in everything. I asked the waiter for more water, and when he brought it back he said "OH! Did you not get butter in the first one?" He reached into his pocket, presumably for some butter to put into my water, so I stabbed him in the gut with a crab claw and ran away.
On "Stranger Than Fiction," Will Ferrell's new movie: It was pretty good. It's kind of a date movie, and I went there with four dudes. We're all making out right now though, so I guess it did its job. But really I think the point of the movie is that everyone will want to fuck Maggie Gyllenhaal after they see it.
On the creepy dude that was hitting/spitting on all the girls at the Plan B bar this evening: When you're dressed up, don't hit on people that aren't dressed up. That's just weird.
On the train I was discussing Guitar Hero 2 with my friends, and how it gave me callouses on my fingers, and this dude sitting across from me held up his nub of a ring finger and said "At least THIS didn't happen to you. I burnt this finger to the nub playing guitar." I just imagined this guy on stage with some ridiculous band (maybe Journey on some night when Randy Jackson couldn't make it), shredding some hot lick until his hand exploded all over his Tazmanian Devil jacket .
And I am STILL listening to Meat Loaf's "Bat Out Of Hell" trilogy. The new one, "Bat Out Of Hell III: Out Of 'Fight Club' Money" is like 2 hours long. It's ridiculous. Y'know, a lot of people give Meat Loaf shit* and say he's cheesy and a crazy pop star, and while those two statements are both true, I think we as a nation have overlooked his bombastic, operatic, theatrical, metal genius. I mean, all of his songs are about...well, about 8 minutes long, but they're also all about banging women, Hell, weapons, and being a rocker. I can't think of any other subjects that I would ever want to hear a song about. But yeah, I think Meat Loaf deserves a little cred, even though he's clearly a nutjob. I will explain more later. Good evening.
* I said "Meat Loaf Shit" in a sentence that wasn't even about meat, loaves, or shit. I'm awesome.