Hey come here, I'm drunk

I got my hair cut today.

I drank a lot of scotch today.

I bought the books "Bill and Ted's Most Excellent Adventures Volume 1" and "Guerilla Warfare" by Che Guevara today.

I thought that was a really good combination of books to buy today.

I sang karaoke today.

I got mad because some kid sang my song today.

I didn't cry at all even though when I woke up this morning I thought that I might today.

I saw a man wearing a hat made out of a tiger's face today.

I lied about that "guy wearing a tiger's face hat" thing today.